a sunset hooping through the sky’s hole
reflected clear in the lacquer of my mother’s tears
the drowning clang of railway metal
to set forth a journey
unspooling fear and anticipation
I was eighteen and leaving for university
isolation clawing on my forehead
about to forget how to love a home
not knowing years later I’d pine
for an absence of light
not knowing how having an inverter would deny me
for years the spectacle of darkness,
an overturned lantern, the hiss of a night breeze,
the stink of comforting kerosene and in the flame’s blue,
middle class fears turning sooty and grime
years chip away like
flecks on my mother’s chin
my father turns seventy five this week
I’m still searching for the baritone to wish him in
I’ve been away for so long, now at the mention of family
my mouth gapes, my stomach drops
I grope for the string that connects them both
my hands only find an irregularity in pulse
behind my riverless palm a nail screws harder than before