}} CHILDHOOD by Pravasini Mahakud |

Poetry at Sangam

SangamHouse

 










CHILDHOOD by Pravasini Mahakud

Translated by K. Satchidanandan

1.

Fear. It was fear there, sheer fear
 Every childhood night, except Sunday.
She knew little arithmetic; the teacher’s abuse swam in her eyes,
And when the exams approached, it was fever, nothing but fever,
The tiny weak body sought the edge of mother’s sari
But the mother had no time for she was a  body turning around on bed
Fear. It was fear there. Sheer fear.

2.

When her tender body was brimming with numberless dreams
she loved to listen to the rain; but thunder scared her.
Rain made mother more anxious:
Has the aunt given grandfather tea on time?
Mother used to take her to grandfather and grandmother
 before the rainy season came.
She had heard the Mahabharata and Ramayana 
for the first time from grandfather.

3.

As a child she had felt good
Watching her mother’s body fully adorned with ornaments
Taking tea stealthily without being spotted 
Many things made her feel good: keeping away from father’s drunken eyes,
Stealing, with dauntless courage,
Mango pieces left to dry for making pickle, 
The longing to be a big girl putting on mother’s sari’
The wild desire to be seduced by her own little grown body
And many things for which  lists cannot be provided.

4.

When did her childhood pass? She couldn’t be sure

It still peeps out of her textbooks; beckons her
“Come, come, this is still your body;
Wipe off the dust and dirt with your supple fingers”
She extends her hand, it trembles.
Childhood remains unchanged folded in dear schoolbooks
It is difficult to fathom when it escaped out of  her handful of burn out dreams.

5.

“Do not catch the butterfly child”, mother had advised before death,
“ Do not watch sins being committed, you may go blind”
Yet she saw everything one night, forbidden,
 accidently, suddenly, unconsciously.
 Returning home little late, it was dark, things were not so clear.
She felt like crying; she seemed to have gone blind.
She was happy to see sun rising at last in the morning,
So, mother also tells  lies, she thought

For many days since then she has had no worries.

 

PRAVASINI MAHAKUD