for Avvaiyar
மனம் தடுமாறேல்
The row of chairs in Kabali Talkies trembled as he flapped
his legs like wings, so squat they hardly reached the floor.
The grains danced, broke up, and assembled into a face—
her eyes were caverns of coal, the mouth squiggles of insects.
There is an Ancient One in every family, ageless and padded
in legend: mine was widowed at seventeen, her head shaved,
she remained blouse-less and shredded of all that made her a woman.
The movie was long, engrossed me for three hours as she
shed her youth, beauty and became the old woman I knew
in the kitchen, living in the interspace of desire and memory.
She rolled the rosary and recounted stories late into the night,
her body a begging bowl refusing to ask for a day more