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Poetry at Sangam

SangamHouse

 










School

I went to a school with a hundred-and-fifty year history of vicious, talented and brilliant boys. I
learnt to have fangs in school. In class four, I had this weird laughter: witch-like followed by
clapping. I was informed that only eunuchs clapped.

The problem with a vicious, talented and brilliant mobthey thought control
meant no clapping. Arenas were for sound and sex. Jock boys are the horniest.
Always walking around with hard-ons. At school, I learned: be afraid of men.

At school, I learned: negotiate. Fear teaches you to use mud and light. Boys’ schools are like
prisons: these are ancient tribes. The bullies, the jocks who bully, the nerds, the girly boys and
the unseen. That is the strict hierarchy. While everyone is stuck in their place
the girlies move around.They make their moves obvious.
Here: fear becomes the pass. Strangely, fear makes you fearless. The other girlies moved
around playing the game, seeing the chasms and tilting the balance.
At school, I learned: anger.

In class six, Arun C was sitting behind me in geometry class, he kept poking me and muttering,
girly, girly. I first tried: Please, stop it. It continued: poke, girly, poke, girly, poke, girly.
Then, the route of authority. I told the teacher. She told him to stop.
Then, I told him, I’d hurt him, he laughed. He continued.

There was a short break.

Then we had another geometry period. Arun C continued: poke, girly, poke, girly, poke, girly.
I took out my compass, gripped it tight and in one swift move, I stabbed him through his
hand. He screamed and cried.

I was suspended.

At school, I learned: violence is the obvious choice.
At school, I learned:
be afraid of men.

← Joshua Muyiwa