Poetry at Sangam
Poetry at Sangam showcases poetry in English and translations as well as essays on poetics and news of new releases.
Thank you for the invitation to
The ‘informal’ house party at your
House
I am truly honoured that you feel
I should be part of a
Random bunch of accomplished strangers from
Different sectors
(Did you mean the sectors of your locality?)
Who can engage in
Meaningful conversation and
Networking
While I am delighted to consider your invitation
Owing to previous strange experiences
With other sets of strangers
I will be able to accept it
Only if you unquestioningly accept my conditions
For attending the house party at your
House
To begin with
I would like you to
Email me high-resolution images of
Your house
(My email ID, unlike my demands, is very simple: my first name @ gmail.com)
Especially of the rooms where the party will take place
So that I can fully acquaint myself
With the unfamiliar setting
The furniture and other
(Frighteningly) unfamiliar objects
And feel completely at home
During the house party at your
House.
I would also need
High-resolution images and a
Short, succinct biography of all the strangers
Who will be attending the party
So that I can acquaint myself
With their unfamiliar faces and bodies
Their academic qualifications
Accomplishments and
Hobbies
I think this is a must to be able to engage in
(As you yourself pointed out)
Meaningful conversation and
Networking
If any of your family members
Will be present at the party
I would like to have their
High-resolution images and
Short, succinct biographies as well
So that they don’t feel hurt
If I am not able to engage in
Meaningful conversation and
Networking
Do also send me
High-resolution images of
Dogs, cats and other pets
That will be around or
Might stray inside
So that if they are cuter than my lab N
I can sulk now
And not during the party
Even though it is an ‘informal’ house party
I would like to see a
Tentative flow of events
With the timing for each event
So that I can fully prepare myself
For embarrassments such as
Excusing myself during dinner
Because it’s time to take my anti psychotics
Or answering routine emergency calls from P
Asking if everything is going according to
His plan (for me)
It would be great to have the
Snacks and dinner menu
So that I can ascertain whether I need to
Starve myself
On the day before the house party
And not feel guilty
And suicidal
For consuming outside food
Inside your house
Even though it’s been cooked in
The kitchen
Inside your house
I would also request you to
Inform the bunch of strangers
About the following don’ts:
1) Don’t hug or embrace me at any point, a formal handshake will suffice
2) Don’t be overly animated during your conversations with me
3) Don’t ask me if I have driven down to the party myself, and if not why not
4) Don’t ask me why I don’t consume alcohol or smoke cigarettes
5) Don’t ask me about my past, present or future romantic and sexual
relationships (and never ask me when was the last time I had sex)
6) Don’t ask me about the last place or country I travelled to, the last music
concert I attended, or the last Netflix show I watched
7) Don’t ask what I do in my free time
8) Don’t ask me if I play a sport or go to the gym
9) Don’t smirk, snigger or whisper in my presence as I will know exactly why
you’re smirking, sniggering or whispering
10) Don’t call me weird, strange or mad to my face although you may call me unique, different and fresh.
If these conditions are
Acceptable to you
And your bunch of stranger
Friends
Then I would be more than happy to
Attend the house party at your
House
But if I find that any of these strangers
Are in fact friends
Or foes
From my past
And are even partially responsible
For my laying out these prerequisites
Before accepting any invite
To any party
Then you will have to
Uninvite him/her/them
Since I was originally invited to meet a
Random bunch of accomplished strangers from
Different sectors
(Did you mean the sectors of your locality?)
Who can engage in
Meaningful conversation and
Networking