Poetry at Sangam
Poetry at Sangam showcases poetry in English and translations as well as essays on poetics and news of new releases.
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it’s all coming together the catastrophe book waiting
for Alexis she said rain or shine
brought an umbrella though
it was clear it was not
when I arrived to the gardens Alexis
the type to research the weather voice mail from
mother why didn’t I respond to her text about grandma’s chafing
within the average time 90 seconds
crass words never escape me the only crack I want to discuss
is my own crack-up so I’m
photographing myself as this thing
slow brews glass covered breeze-
way back-
drop
Storm Arthur down south to the west storm that downed my parents
electric storm I’m reading
about and the one in the dream
when I found safety on a
cement embankment of a reservoir drops
commence Alexis arrives
member night wine when it starts coming down
catch up in chilled sub-gallery missed call from K phone lit
with NYC.gov flash flood alerts lightening struck
One World Trade her and dog afraid explain she’s from LA
the dog found on a street
in Brownsville splitting half a too salty bird wet white
suede shoes with holes the thing about marriage
is I can no longer simmer into
jackass stew the thing
about analysis
is you have to smoke out the truth squish squish
I hear you coming
the thing I didn’t want to face is YOU WILL BE DISAPPOINTING
that’s all
they grind the coffee this late
man behind me “too late to drink”
give me a bag of your darkest my deadline got bumped
tomorrow morning I’ll get to be a writer
in the grand style
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with a thwack I remember the funny bone
the largest unprotected nerve in the human body
holy fucking shit
it’s the 4th of July
butcher is closed so pick up some subpar thighs how to get at
my ambivalence it was like Sicilian-American Christmas
by Lake Michigan
texted alert that due to high
rip current
fireworks will move South of Brooklyn
Bridge our balcony a choice view
far into my own
implosive sorrow see the dog is scared tend to the dog
closing us in
the middle room
coaxed out by K’s excitement but just for a few minutes
we can’t have him
developing another phobia
let’s watch
a comedy after contemplating
Siberian prison escape pick Barefoot in the Park keep giving Jane Fonda
a chance can’t get to the end the barefoot part
with her as guide earnestness is always a cover try Julia
same earnestness Fonda as Hellman trying to be a good writer
smoking drinking temper tantrums friend Julia
a memoir invented from whole cloth? fighting Nazis Hellman unrepentant
Stalinist?!? HELL she did sue
Mary McCarthy for saying she was
over-rated on public television
The Group is not streaming my companions now both sleeping
last time I watched it I paused on the scenes of St. Mark’s
looking so quaint
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the map says catch the D from Dekalb
signage says B MTA worker tells me no I have to take the Q
wait for the Q and the D comes was she right or wrong
I get on the D she was wrong triumphant on Prince!
picking up a cord I’ll surprise K with some shorts for the lake
shopping in Soho is wicked feel the judgment or is it sudden
resonance of K saying that I looked like
a foreign exchange student in my hat and back pack
all the shorts are ugly find some pants
for myself uniform fetish vibe I know what I’d
do with money cultivate an excessive wardrobe guy on F home
asks if anyone is listening is anyone awake for his speech
about illegal incarceration hold eye contact tail end
of independence day weekend kid glares at him his girl-
friend leaning into his shoulder all of our fantasies
offered counterpoint look for reasons not to feel
anxious nature’s remedy is people pull handle in case of
emergency I’ve worked hard on my infrastructures and it’s hard
so don’t pull that handle pull out green notebook Hank
said he’s sitting on a donut “like a dickweed” glad I jotted
that down and “follow up with Hank” “do you want to be
a thing that limps or do you want to be a player?” said Claudia
another Sicilian and “you’re Sicilian you shouldn’t even be employed”
and god I ROARED that afternoon in the empty bar : “all I want
is a little reaction” Tina Turner in Rite-Aid man on F last week
chatting up young woman “41 years in NYC and I’ve never seen the Statue
of Liberty” and “New Jersey? No offense but you look like a California
woman” I’ve been quoting Cher in Moonstruck since 1987
except I slap myself in the face SNAP OUT OF IT her way
of saying BE PRESENT my proto-Buddha just accept that I’m not
going to like you for what boils down to in geologic time
another 45 minutes
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butterflies Monday through Friday
morning in my stomach
is it the conditions of life before I check my work email
or my relationship with
my org. called a building a facility today
talking to a friend and a room within a venue
REPORTS
GALORE
and chores fill bucket with hot water
one foot in tub
one out slip but catch balance
no rags use old pair of cotton underwear my life in dog hair
get to kitchen table knock over chair
balanced there hits back of
my head
I guess I’d rather be
doing something else like nothing
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take my seat across from therapist no flowers in the vase
this week I once wanted to say “nice peonies” to him
but refrained I had some dreams he produces
a notebook “I like to write them down” this is beyond
a joy this other person writing down my dreams K will
say that is so typical of my exhibitionism but I say
maybe like my socialism too lets all take notes
on the dreams of others as they speak them open the royal
road and the rural route so I go to some kind of claims
desk and say I’m here for my dog Isabel other people
are getting their dogs back taxidermied wrapped
in plastic I say NO my dog is alive there has been some
terrible city-wide event “can you see any faces?” gosh I like
his questions yes like a Pekingese face with under bite bulging
eyes I don’t favor that breed so much (favored by Chinese Buddhist
Monks) they return with Isabel on a leash and she
looks so great is so happy to see me she’s so vital and I
have recovered her without question she is mine
and I was right she is alive “it’s unexpected” he says
yes that is not the usual outcome his notebook is
from a drugstore a good choice it communicates that nothing
is more important than what is written within whereas my
notebook that holds this dream is 11 ½ x 13 graph paper
he writes down another of my dreams I know he’s a dog-
lover we spend most of the session talking about dogs
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my herbalist friend and I revel in the heat “it’s so good for your
constitution” she buys me early birthday lunch I’ve known her
for some time got to get home to my furry friend I worry
he’s howling I’m just like someone I used to make fun of
who refused to use postcards because the post office lost one once
she was old now I’m old don’t tell me I’m not I’m old
enough where I can see ugly tendencies taking over my personality
“SS never used to be like that” it’s what I think
about the women in my family who couldn’t see to take care of
their minds taking care of others devastation of the either/or
don’t want to be a sad senior saw a woman in midtown holding herself
up nothing innately sad about it but the conditions moving slow
and with great effort in a consumer market I’m looking
for the 5 ask a guy in a driver’s uniform where’s the entrance?
how-can-you-be-so-dumb tone “it’s those doors Grand Central Station”
I thought you went in there to get out of town but I got to lunch
in Brooklyn with my friend who I’ve known for some time
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our own private Amityville
of flying ants
we opening our eyes they swarming
out of a crack by the bed
no bode well for abode nothing that citrus and tape
won’t cure leave note for the dog sitter sorry you have to
deal another what if 4L used poison driving them to
their “gay neighbors” what if going to home town feels death-
defying and so does staying put I can ruin
any fun time just ask it’s nice to share a suitcase
K hates to fly we won’t crash be worried about
driving with my dad right that is not
a comfort what if
I could draw a system of belief that has no redemption
either suffering or hellfire upper echelon being prophet of perdition
that would be my family tree big hug for grandma
your skin looks… “oh I know
my neighbor complemented my skin
and the next
day I had eczema” …looks good who is it that doles out
the eczema and the envy? trees planted in the 70s
add a lushness you wouldn’t have seen all these houses
in disrepair the door is open and the staircase carpet is the same
this is the repo man’s house said twice
my mom never to forget the slights of
neighbors me clipping John Lennon assassination articles but
not for Reagan the following year or for the Pope the joke the bad
boys started “now he’s more holy”
this is a boring tour other than how the words “Mysteries of Small
Houses” howl through me “where are you headed?”
well this is all very repetitive turning the corner by shelves
of foam core cheese don’t sing to me!
I would like to be celebrated
in spoken words song is camouflage
I shot the squirrel I did to make it as a Midwestern boy
don’t remember the supper club Wild Rose is close
to Upper Mill Pond on floating chair
with a Bloody Mary five senior female mutts
work it out don’t want to hear the story about the eagle
and the puppy again getting a signal on the mound
what if Mr. Freckle Face needs me what perversity
to come on this rupture-of-spleen anniversary the what if is all
about this I looked out for death and it dusted my mind
with cool powder fly back to second home
quick fever an only symptom can I
touch my chin to my chest yes! not spinal meningitis what if
took me two hours to cauterize myself
wet towel and flannel shirt and K by my side
BEEP BEEP BEEP it’s normal new guy who lives in basement with the
Brussels Griffon sees me eyeballing his Divine tee-shirt saw myself seeing him
gleaner on the street says “give him some water…
and give yourself some too”
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